If You Disagree With Me, You're WRONG

Equality means EQUAL -- for women AND men...

A female version of this was going around recently. Why should women be the only ones who have unquestioned rights over their reproductive organs? If you believe in equal rights but still support R(outine) I(nfant) C(ircumcision), you're a hypocrite!

If it ain't broke...

One day my then 4 year old son was in my bedroom, playing on my laptop or watching tv or something. And he was naked, of course. Because he was a 4 year old boy and 4 year old boys like to be naked.

Anyway, I was cooking lunch and I hear him screaming for me in an absolute panic. I go running into the room and find him, completely distraught, with a raging baby-boner.

"What's wrong?!"

"It broke!"

"What broke?"

"It broke! It broke!"

"What broke, baby? What's wrong?"

Pointing at his penis, in tears, "It broke!"

"Do you mean that it's hard? And it won't get soft again?"

*sniff sniff* "Uh-huh."

"Oh, honey, it's okay. I promise. It will go down."

"No!  I broke it!"

Hugging him, "Sweetheart, it's okay. I promise, it will go down."

Shaking his head, half hysterical.

"Really. All you have to do is leave it alone. Don't touch it. It will go down again."

He finally calms down, promising to leave it alone. So I go back out to the kitchen. A few minutes later he comes out and gives me a great, big hug.

"It went down?"

"Uh-huh! Thank you, Mommy!" Hugs and kisses abound.

Ah, the joys of motherhood.

Second Hand Sex -- Better the next time around?

You can find some really funny things at thrift stores.  Sometimes you find great treasures, things you've always wanted.  Or, in most cases for us, something you can sell for scads of money.  Occasionally you find something that has you scratching your head.  Rarely, however, do you find something that makes you want to retch.  I mean, I've got 2 kids, and I grew up with 4 brothers.  It takes a LOT to nauseate me.

On Monday, since Uncle Walter was still quite bereaved over the recent death of my father, we went to the thrift store to see if we could come across a treasure of the "sell for scads of money" kind.  Or, you know, just some cool stuff.  On our way out, in a rare show of interest on Uncle Walter's part, he peered into the "naughty" bin.

Wait!  Do you see what Uncle Walter saw???  He called me over, and bade me to examine it.  Alas, I did.  And what to my wondering eyes did appear?

Well, sure, they suck, but why all the hate???

I am the kind of person who rarely pays attention to the news.  Mainly because the only thing that happens is I get upset.  Either I know what they're reporting as fact is, in actuality, at best misleading, or I see that they aren't reporting what should be talked about. To be fair, it's also because the news is boring.  I mostly know what's going on in the world, though.  Uncle Walter will sometimes tell me the gist of a story, which I can then look up if it is of particular interest to me.  Or, through my connections and experiences in the wider world, I'll hear of something of interest and pursue it on my own.

A while ago on Facebook I saw HATE groups popping up... about a pop band!  I couldn't figure it out!  I mean, sure -- they suck.  But plenty of people like sucky bands.  UW likes Barry Manilow and country music!  So why the vitriol?  I even did a cursory search on the band to see if they'd done anything particularly gauche, a la the Dixie Chicks a few years back, or particularly unsettling (a la having to see Billy Joe Armstrong naked *shudder*).  Nothing!  They still seemed sucky, but nope, clean as a whistle!

So really... tell me... what's so bad about Beck???

ETA: Apparently I didn't quite get my point across...  The groups are about... Beck.  But, um, not knowing about news and such, and thus not really knowing who that was, I *thought* (at first) that they were about the band.

I have lost my innocence

So, yeah, I know, I haven't blogged in forever.  But I finally have something worth writing about! What, you may ask, has caught my attention after so long?  Really?  You need to ask?  Daniel Radcliffe's penis, of course!

How have I lost my innocence?  Well, it turns out that the yummy picture of Daniel Radcliffe naked is a fake.  I suspected that, hoped differently, but now have proof.  I thought I could TRUST the cock.  *shaking head* I am no longer so naive.

At least the OTHER pictures were real.  Here's the video to prove it!  And hey, it doesn't look too "hamster-like" here, either. (After the jump, just for you, John!)

Love your son??? Don't fuck with his dick!!!

A penis is designed for maximum functionality and maximum pleasure. That means that WITH A FORESKIN the penis is at its most functional and most pleasurable. So tell me why some moron would look at their perfect baby boy and decide to hack off a completely healthy piece of skin? One filled with nerve endings, designed exactly the way it's supposed to be? Because they wanna "look like dad"? THAT's a great reason, ain't it? I mean, all kids are clones, right?  Because THEY think that a normal, healthy penis "looks funny"? Why the hell are they judging the attractiveness of their son's penis?  Are they really worried about what some potential girlfriend MIGHT think about their kids' penis?  How fucking sick can you get?

When a woman's labia and vulva is hacked up, we call it what it is: Mutilation.  When we perform an unnecessary surgery, on a newborn, WITHOUT ANESTHETIC, we call it "normal"??? Where the fuck did THAT idea come from? Even practicing Jews are turning away from the surgery, although in fairness to the religion, the procedure is NOT done the way it is in the hospital. By a god damned OB??? Why would someone think that an OB would know what to do with a baby's penis? Even a pediatrician isn't a surgeon!

Dear God, what is that Thing... doing?

Really.  What's it doing?  You tell me.  'Cause I know what it LOOKS like it's doing.  But it can't possibly be what it looks like, right?

Harry Potter made me a pervert...

Really!  I never thought of myself as a perv.  I mean, sure, I'm adventurous, but in a relatively mundane kind of way.  Until I was watching "Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone" the other night.  Then I realized that I MUST be a pervert.  There's no other explanation for it.  I can deal with getting hot bothered by a 21 year old who looks sexy as all get out.  Especially when he's naked, even if it is with a horse.  And even when he does get a bit of the hamster penis.

What is going on with Daniel Radcliffe's Penis???

Did something happen that I don't know about???  Suddenly I'm getting hundreds of hits a day, all about his penis!  I mean, it's a nice penis and all, but to go from about 10 hits a day on the topic to 100 hits a day on the topic is a BIT weird, don't you think?  I do.

This is what the big deal is about (after the jump, for those of you at work):

Why are all my hits about Daniel Radcliffe's Penis?

I get that he's a bit popular right now, what with the latest movie and all... but why are the majority of my web-hits from people searching for Daniel Radcliffe's penis?  Should I be worried about this?  I knew I wasn't unique in my late night ponderings of a barely legal boy's nether parts, but I definitely didn't expect the turn-out that I've attracted.

Are people curious about things OTHER than Harry's Wand?  What about Dumbledore's ding-a-ling, Ron's Rod, Hermione's Heaving Huffalumps, or Draco's dangly-bits?  I know people are interested in whether Potter pets Draco's bits, at least enough to spawn fanfic.  But are they interested in whether Neville's long in places other than his bottom???

I'm just arrogant enough to think I'm somewhat amusing for something other than a storage place for naked pictures of a European celebrity.  I'd like to think that if people DO find me for the Potter coverage that they'll stick around to see what it's all about.

Even if they don't, though, I *am* shamelessly encouraging their patronage by posting about it again, huh?  That's okay, I suppose.  Maybe they come for the pee-pee but a few of those people may come back for the rest.