You've never tried a pad like this. GUARANTEED.

Such is the claim of Always's latest product, Infinity.  For those of you who don't know, Always is the brand name for a Proctor & Gamble feminine product.  Specifically what is known as a "maxi pad."  This is used, by women, when their ovarian dams burst.  Something has to catch the blood when you're hemorrhaging like a horse.  Some women use tampons, which are like little cotton sticks that you stick up your twat.  But I find them very uncomfortable.  I can feel them when I use them, and the one thing I don't want to constantly be aware of is my crotch.

Prior to the 1980s, women wore what is known as a sanitary belt.  This was like a garter belt with a connector in the front and the back, to which women would attach a piece of cloth to soak up the flow.  This is why menstruation is often referred to as being "on the rag."  Thankfully I wasn't around for things like that.  I like the stick on option, and I love that Always has "wings" -- which are wrap around flaps to hold the blood better.

So when Always came out with this new style, I was kind of excited.  They're much thinner than even the regular Ultra Thins, yet they're supposed to have awesome flow control.  Last night I tried them.  There are two things to keep in mind with me.  First, I never have more or less than a "regular" flow, so I don't need super or light or anything else but "regular" strength.  Second, I don't have problems with leakage at night, so even when sleeping, I have never needed big honking pads.  Which is nice!  I'm a lucky woman.

My first impression was that they were VERY comfortable.  It reminded me of the episode of the Simpsons where Marge broke her leg.  It started out with the family skiing, and Homer runs into Ned Flanders on the slopes.  Ned is wearing a skin-tight ski suit and shakes his butt saying "Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all!"  So the comfort level was AWESOME. My second impression was that it had good coverage.  It's a long pad that has a wider back end, which should offer better protection.  All good news!

In to bed I go, and after several hours I finally fall asleep.  I wake up feeling clean, don't see any leakage, there's none on the bed.  We're all good.

Until I stand up.  Then the flood gates open.  Occasionally this has happened before.  If I spend the night on my back, the flow tends to get stuck up in there and just hang out.  With the thin maxis, the pad manages to catch it before it goes anywhere else.  The Infinity, however, had nearly no absorption power.  Leakage everywhere.  Down my legs, onto my undies, onto my pajama bottoms.  All covered.  When I went to clean up, the flow did not seem to be intense enough for that kind of explosive reaction.

I've heard from a friend that the Super absorption level is better, so I will probably give that a try.  But given that I can get 90 pad packs of the Thin Regular from Costco, I suspect that the Infinity will NOT be worth the extra money for me.

Edited to add an update:

Wore them today, and still awful luck.  The first one worked well enough, but the second one leaked again.  I'm TOTALLY going to make claim on that guarantee and get my money back.  Don't waste yours on these pads.  They're not worth the extra money.

Comments

[Matt]

Ther missus sent me, a couple times, to go buy her the necessary pads.
Well.. being a guy, I kinda grabbed the wrong ones.
(Guys.. never grab the wrong ones. Women, please don't send men to pick up somethig only you know everything about..)
Well, she freaked out, and I explained that since I don't use them, telling me to just 'grab maxi pads' gets just that.
Which prompted the response, "You're such a GUY."
What else would I be?
*Bing ! I'm a giraffe!*

[The Queen of the Blog]

I've never made or asked UW to buy them for me. I wouldn't do that. Aside from the fact that it would embarrass him, I KNOW that he would mess it up.

[Matt]

I succeeded in getting the right things once, but only because I had the label in my hand..

[The Queen of the Blog]

I still wouldn't ask UW. It's embarrassing enough for him just to be married to me. I don't need to add more to his life-sentence of shame.

[Matt]

Had to pick some up for my best friend once.
She was incapable of motion due to severe cramping.
I grabbed several different painkillers too.
She said I was insane.
("Possibly!" *said in the voice of Kalas from Highlander)

[Gissel]

Nice story, Jen. Good for Halloween! :-P

I'd never send a guy to buy my pads. That's just plain cruel :-D

[The Queen of the Blog]

Matt, I buy them in a 90 count pack, and buy another whenever I get low. I will NOT be caught unawares!

G, I should do one more update, but I doubt anyone's still reading it anymore. :-P

[jtlitch]

I got a box of tampons in the mail once, too. Yeah, imagine
my surprise. No, they weren't tampons, they were pads, something
called, uh, "Always."... Like they're gonna call them "Some
of the Time." Always dry weave with wings and... optional
sunroof, geez. They're big pads, have you seen them? They
look like Dr. Scholl's innersoles. I'm usin em for coffee
filters right now! Oh yeah, you're laughing, the garbage man
must think I have a terrible disease! If you've got these
in the mail, ladies, don't wear em. I put one on, I didn't
feel "confident," I felt paranoid. "Uh oh, I got one of
these on! Hope I don't fall in a puddle! *slurp*"

Courtesy of Jeremy Hotz (Comedian)

[Olivia]

Have you seen the pad commercial with the woman who kills a man and cleans up his blood with a pad? when the Police come in, the only thing left is her holding the paid.
Seriously, why would you just stand there like that??
What a bloody stupid ad!!

[The Queen of the Blog]

O, I have not seen that commercial, but it sounds hilarious.

J, thanks for the laugh!

[Gissel]

Oh, dear, what a gruesome add indeed!