If You Disagree With Me, You're WRONG

Have you seen Bender's member???

So my kids *love* Futurama (as do I) and they've been watching it since birth.  We have a DVD player in my mom-mobile, so mostly I just hear the episodes, not see them.

Well, today, The Boy wanted a specific episode.  He talks just a tad funny since he's missing both his front teeth, but generally I can understand him.  But today I was stumped.

The Boy: "I want the one where Bender lost his dick, mommy!"

Me:  "WHAT???"

The Boy:  "You know, the one where Bender lost his dick!  Understand?"

Me:  "Uh, no, honey, I don't."

The Boy:  "His dick!  He lost his dick!"

After about 5 minutes, I finally figured it out.  On the episode "How Hermes Requisitioned His Groove Back", Bender's personality file was removed.  You know.  He lost it.  His DISK.

And THAT is what I get for having a dirty mind.

Woody Allen defends child molester -- absolutely no one surprised...

So Woody Allen thinks that Roman Polanski should be released.  Shocking that a man who would have a sexual relationship with his own much-younger stepdaughter would think that way, isn't it?  What IS surprising to me is the number of other pseudo-respected people within the film industry who are also defending Polanski.

I say "pseudo" because how can you really respect someone that you only know through their craft?  Just because your grouter did a good job on your house, doesn't make him a good person.  But these people (Martin Scorsese and Tilda Swinton, among many others) are using all the influence they can muster to release a child rapist.  THAT says much more about them than the ability to entertain.  John Wayne Gacy was "entertaining".

A man who drugs and rapes a child deserves to be reviled, not supported by his peers.  Supporting Polanski makes them just as abhorrent as the rapist himself, in my opinion (which, as we know, is the only one that counts).  That says to me that they find his behavior acceptable, that they do not believe in justice, and that they do not support the victims of rape.  That they consider themselves more important than mere laws.  All of that, far more than any movie they may make, illustrates their character.

The victim herself (and unlike others, I refuse to put that word in quotes) would like to see this end.  She's tired of being reminded of this every few years.  She's tired of people talking about her, her family and her mother (who holds not a small amount of blame).  She has come to terms with what happened to her, no thanks to her rapist or those who SHOULD have had her best interests at heart.  Or the people who claimed that what happened to her was somehow okay *cough* Angelica Huston *cough* because she "looked older" (you tell me, cause she sure looks young to my eye). She wants it all to end.  But instead of blaming the prosecutor (whose job it is to pursue justice), instead of blaming those who report about it when Polanski is in the news, she SHOULD be blaming the man himself.  Had he faced justice 32 years ago, this topic would long since have been dropped.

I am assuming that this is her way of coping with what happened to her, and the fact that a powerful man is not going to be punished for what he's done.  She has probably accepted that.  But I do not understand her willingness.  She has 3 children.  What would she think/feel/hope for if one of her children was drugged and raped?  Would she want to see the case "dropped" or would she pursue justice, no matter how many years it took?  While I can't put myself in her shoes in how she has coped with her attack, I can, as a mother, say with certainty what *I* would want done if someone abused my child.  I would, merely in setting an example for them, demand justice.  Otherwise all that she is showing is that money can buy you freedom from retribution and that justice is secondary to fame.

How sad it is that she, and those who love her, have accepted this.  As I said before, *I* am unwilling to accept this.  For my sake, the sake of my children, and the sake of any child that is victimized by both a rapist and a society that finds a rapist respectable if not laudable.

Justice delayed is justice denied...

As I'm sure you all know, Roman Polanski, confessed and convicted child sex offender, has finally been detained after 32 years on the run.  Why did he flee?  Because he was going to have to serve up to 48 DAYS in prison for drugging and raping a 13 year old girl.  You see, he thought, by his plea agreement, that he would only "suffer" the 42 DAYS that he'd already served, rather than have any additional punishment. How horrendous!  What a terrible castigation for the defilement and abuse of a child!  So unfair!  He was famous!  He was respected!  He was... a rapist.

Angelica Huston, present at the party where the rape took place, concurred that the victim looked older.  Therefore... um... what?  She must have asked for it?  So if she'd been older, it would have been okay to drug her with quaaludes, ply her with alcohol, and have sex with her when she was unable to give consent?  Oh yeah, that makes sense!  Good 'ole Angelica!  She sure knows right from wrong!

Instead of being horrified by this man's actions, instead of reviling him, he's been admired by his peers.  He's won an Oscar and was only arrested because he was going to Switzerland to be honored at the Zurich Film Festival.  If this were any other person, any other man who was a convicted sex offender, he would be ostracized.  But because he has talent, he is allowed to live his life as if he'd never traumatized a young girl?

At what point do we become ashamed of ourselves?  At what point does our own tolerance of abhorrent behavior overtake our desire for justice?  30 years ago this man was offered what amounted to a stern dressing down, but couldn't even accept that.  Now he's spent 30 years in exile (in luxurious exile).  Oh yes, THAT was better than 90 days in jail.  In the meantime his victim has had to come to accept that she will never receive justice.

Even if his victim has come to terms with this and is willing to put it behind her, *I* am not willing to accept this.  I'm not willing to feel comfortable with this.  I can't think of an excuse that makes his behavior, before or after, acceptable.  So I won't.  I hope, when he comes to the United States, that Roman Polanski is sentenced to jail time.  I hope he is punished, if not for the rape of a child, then at the least for fleeing the country rather than serve his time.  I don't care that he felt as if he was misled about the plea bargain.  A child rapist deserves more than this man was ever going to get.

Unfortunately, the world doesn't work that way.  He's rich and famous and the best case scenario is that he gets to plea to time served and has the conviction on his record  Anything more and they risk interfering with his career.  The horrors! Sometimes things really are black and white, not shades of gray, and a 40 something year old man drugging and raping a 13 year old girl is one of those times.

I'm sorry that his wife, Sharon Tate, and unborn child were murdered.  No one deserves that.  I'm sure that he was going through a hard time.  It had only been a few years, after all, and drug use is a common way to mask pain.  But that doesn't excuse the rape of a child.  Nothing does.  And until we realize that, rapists will continue to receive inappropriate punishments -- and children will continue to suffer.

Sex the French Dragon way...

Having a satisfying sex life is very important for any relationship.  And thus, I offer some excerpts from Sex and the Perfect Lover: Tao, Tantra, and the Kama Sutra by Mabel Iam.  Now, excerpts on their own would be a bit boring, I'm sure.  So I have made them more interesting by dictating them into the Dragon voice-recognition software.  Then, just for fun, I translated that into French.  Then I realized that most of my readers aren't French.  So I translated it back again.  But by then I was too lazy to go back and copy it all the way it was.  Instead, for your reading pleasure, here are some ideas for sexual positions, complete with illustrations.  (After the jump, since it's not work safe).

You being fat doesn't mean MY kid can't be a firefighter...

It's been a few years since this happened, actually, but something tonight reminded me of it, and it still pisses me off. Random Bitch who was in a playgroup with me was very fat.  When my petite, perfectly proportioned and beautiful daughter was wearing a fireman's hat, I told The Girl that she could be a firefighter when she grows up.  RB says no, she can't.  Because SHE doesn't want some tiny little thing trying to rescue HER from a house fire!  And all I kept thinking was, "lose some fucking weight or NO ONE will be able to get your fat ass out of a fire."  Yes, I know, I'm not a nice person sometimes.

You now what really ticked me off, though?  The only reason she said that was because HER daughter wanted to wear the hat.  Since her daughter was a big kid, she made a point of sayng that SHE should wear it, since her daughter actually had a chance at being a firefighter.  Jealous much?

What the Dragon spoke

This is the original text of the passage that I read into the voice recognition software (from the book "A Gentleman's Honor" by Stephanie Laurens), followed by the text that it supplied (and was then translated):

Dropping them, he turned to her.  Framed her face with his hands and kissed her.
Take them, she Turned to him. New to face and deal of a market.

Deeply, thoroughly, druggingly... until she was swept away, her mind whirling on a sensual tide.
An in depth, comprehensive, and lead us ... But he has no courage to keep his opinion, the importance of the principal.

Leaving one hand cupping her jaw, with the other Tony reached down and tugged the sheet from between them, then settled his body against hers.
To allow one hand, and Roald his job on the other hand, Tony new great foil for her body against him.

Letting the sheets fall, he plundered her soft mouth while with his palm he traced the
long, smooth curve from her shoulder, over the supple planes of her back to the swell
of her bottom, molding her to him, easing her beneath him, spurred by the realization
that her skin was already warm, by the immediate leap of her pulse to the caress, the
dewed flush that spread over the silken skin of her bottom, the evidence of her arousal
he discovered when he pressed his hand down between them, slid his fingers between
her thighs, and found her. Ready, waiting, urgent for him
Leaves, they Drew the soft palate, Paul Wall, he has a curve, shoulders Relaxed air to Undermine
the soft and Flexible at the end of the tree, and instruments, and their Subordinates, know that the
skin is warm and move directly to the position of love, and healing of skin tissue based on Things and
said with enthusiasm, seeing the media to put his finger over five years, if any.

He pressed her back into the bed, parted her thighs with his and filled her, surged slowly
into her, taking his time, glorying in the ease with which he could forge in, in the way she
tilted her hips and took him deep, to the fluid harmony with which they then moved,
sliding into the dance their bodies now knew so well. A different dance to any he'd
enjoyed with any other woman.
Almost ready to take immediate steps and Killed in bed, for Breaking with him and Slowly Completed
five years, grow and develop Slowly and can Easily Lorena, because it Raises the rear and the depth
of water, and then add the slide and dance through the body known. Last button for the pleasure
of another woman. 

Mouths melded, tongues tangling, hot yet languid, their bodies moved, merged, flexed to
a rhythm that held a deeper tune, a more powerful cadence.
Mother of the Existing System, but the language is Transferred to a hot body, and Suggested that
"Ending rate, the timing of a loss of deep and powerful.

A heady, dizzying delight, a pleasure that soared higher and reached deeper, that slid 
past their slik skins, through musle and bone, past straining sinews and tightening
nerves to their cores. To touch, sink into, and hold something there. Something
precious, fragile, yet strong enough to fuse their hearts.
White, dizziness, joy, more joy in other parts of the definition of skin, Muscles, bones, Tendons,
nervous and anger Tightening of monetary policy prodused. and feeling, bank, and all that. some
rare and fragile, but enough to protect her heart,

He sensed it before they'd even started to scale the peak. Their bodies held, thrummed
with, a driving urgency, yet they had the strength to dally -- neither was in any rush,
delighting instead in every small touch, each delicate caress.
according to him, even for large - scale new Heights. Their Bodies and in parallel, and the urgent
need for the trip, but they have nothing to Dowling Rushed system, but not all the little Touches,
Handles all vulnerable.

Slowly, powerfully, he rode her, feeling her body surrender and take him in, feeling the
heat of her draw him deeper, tempting him further into her fire. He went, but kept the
reins firmly in his hands, as always orchestrating the moment; after all these years, 
pleasuring women was all but second nature.
slow, difficult, and given him, feeling his body and Disposed of Acceptance and love I feel is more
difficult than ever seemed to him attractive, he is gone, but firm, hero in September in September,
as always with the time, after all the years to keep the operations of second nature.

Gradually, the tempo built. Beneath him, her body rose, meeting his, matching his,
urging him on. Her fingers, on his back, tensed, nails lightly scoring. Without easing the
steadily escalating rhythm, he drew back from the kiss, through the dimness studied her
face; her eyes were closed, her lips swollen and parted, telltale concentration etched in
every line. He thrust deeper, harder, and she gasped, her body arching greedily under
his.
Gradually, the Middle region. the physical growth and He is responsible for meeting with him and
ask him to hold. You Fingers are Foreign behind the tension in the index. Hey - Increasing the
speed of his release, he was a spy cat in the dark over his face, his ice Closed, Lips and chin
Slowly and divorce, and Concentration of each series of the hero. enter Deeper and Stronger, and
chalk, Covering her body is welcome's all.

Lifting his shoulders a fraction farther, enough to appreciate the way her body, all 
sumptuous curves and hot flushed skin, undulated with each thrust, absorbed each
forceful penetration as he rode her, filled her, he watched as he pushed her step by
slow step closer to sensual fulfillment.
lift your shoulders down,is still enough to appreciate it as an Institution, and all the Waves
Luxurious and clean skin in the direction of the Waves, Immersed in a robbery, and writing, and
make - up, and not, he said, "and Driven Slowly step by step, step, an equal Implementation,

He felt the tension inside her coil, felt her tighten beneath him, her thighs gripping his
flanks as release flickered and beckoned. Her ragged breathing filled his ears, a softer
sound overlaying his own raspy breaths. She reached for him, tried to pull him down
to her.
and Excited, his cloth , he thought the problems of the eyes, Commander of Flicker Published in
second place. Narrow Breeding filled her Ears, voice, sweet breath of look for more Dick. 

Without breaking their rhythm, he shifted his hips, pressing more intimately between
hers, then thrust deeper still, harder still.
And Seemed to want to mention. Will not tilt, famous, Rectal, is among the most foot print, and then
Pushed deep Complexity, and chalk,

She gasped, tugged, but the sight of her held him. Eventually lifting his gaze to her face,
he saw the glimmer of her eyes beneath her lashes.
"Todd, but ice the hero him. Finalli, I saw his face, he Looked in his ice relaxing under the skin .

Alicia studied his face, licked her lips, felt her world teeter. She was so close to that
joyous edge, yet, as always since that first engagement, no matter how desperate the
moment, he held to his control, waiting, watching, certain to follow her, yet still...
Alicea Kunsill of Minister of the face and lips the arrow, and the entire world knows the Teachers,
and what is life the side of happiness, but, as always, to ensure for previously, no hope, and keep
that under control, expect to see more no doubt, but still ... 

"Come with me." She struggled to find breath enough to add, "Now."
come to me and Trade to breathe just as.

His black eyes, until then hooded, opened wide -- enough for her to realize she'd asked
something no other ever had.
when it dark ice wide open - let him, he says, is Unprecedented.

Her nerves shivered, started to unravel. Dragging in a breath, she lifted a hand to his
face, traced his cheek. "Be with me. Please."
tvitter is beginning to break the short term, he was elevated You deal and face, showing his face,

She wasn't sure how, but she knew what she wanted. Needed. 
he did not know how, but he well what he wanted. he did not know content.

He knew, too. He gave a shuddering sigh; the tension rippling through him increased,
hardening his body as it rode against hers, thrust into hers.
report and said: He Raised a sigh of relief by Increasing its products, said the Strengthening of the 
body and Replaced. 

Their gazes remained locked. He shifted his weight, freed a hand, held it open close by
her head. "Give me your hand." 
equal in their look. He said the scale of the free, He Opened his head, to give a hand to help.

She did, shifting her hand from his face, watching as he interdigitated his fingers with
hers, then closed them, locking their palms. Then he rpessed their linked hands into the
pillow. "Wrap your legs about my waist."
God has his SAGE to his face, he came to his Dissatisfaction with his finger before you close it,
Laughing in house, and then Folded his SAGE, he is sweets, and Individuals. alternate put around
my waist.'s

She could barely make out the gravelly command. The silk sheets caressed her skin as
she complied, then gasped as he shifted fully over her and drove deep. Her spine
bowed, but his weight pinned her, held her down as his hips flexed in a faster, more
urgent, more compulsive rhythm.
difficult to see the group of Stones. a list of the most Caressing her skin, because it is surprising
that total and a solid and deep. charm to him, and offers weight of her hips to make fast, in case
of emergency, or Forced the pace today,

For an instant, gasping and breathless, she rode it, then she felt his eyes on her face,
met his black gaze, once again screened. Felt the flames inside rise, coalesce, fuse to
an inferno. 
Wheezing, Shortness of breath, and said that he was black and his face before,
meet the jolly green . Firefighters could fall under the bride, Mergers and safety of hell, 

He lowered his head, drove into her harder, faster, more powerfully.
and Bowed his head, by the International Criminal Police Organization, Stronger, post office and
better,

"Now." he breathed the word against her lips, then took them, took her mouth as the
conflagration roared -- and caught them. Overwhelmed them. Consumed them. As one.
Together, as she'd asked.
and said that the word is token on his lips, then they are the mouth, as fire, the Space and the
inkvisityon for. Drowning. Delete. Assembly. hovever, as Applied.

Tony felt the reins he'd released whip away, sensed them cinder, all control sundered
and gone. For only the second time in his life, he plunged into the heart of that
familiar fire with a woma, by her side. Her hand was his anchor; he clung to it as her body
tightened beneath his, closed powerfully around his, hot, scalding, driving him on, taking
him with her into the world beyond the flames, into the pleasure of sexual satiation.
admissyon is free Tony heat, such as control, for example, the sender of any dirt from God. life just
the second stage, he is Surrounded with his heart of fire is a woman Nearby. her hand was lying:
He Likes His Rigidity slobber him a strong body, Aggressive, Spalding, on him, and if the nick fire,
happy nature of Staffing.

If she wished, so he would; they whirled, joined more intimately than he'd ever been with
any other, not just their bodies but their awareness fused, experiencing together,
simultaneously soaring. Higher, then yet higher.
If they wish, and Day-Ping, freeze and said that Mediation is better, not change, and not
just your body from him, but do not use more experience, and size, then serve machine,

Until they were both gasping, bodies locked and straining. Until they were there, twined
together at the peak.
although they are all Breathless, stream of Floating Bodies, if it is, the air fan,

Until they fell, hearts thundering, senses merged, glory pouring through them. Souls as
one.
even if it is used outside or Community, please Laurie Nipples. South Korea as a whole.

So what do you think?  Does it do the book justice?

When Dragon-speak becomes spoken word

What happens when you read a romance novel into voice-recognition software?  Well, it kind of sounds a bit... different.  Then what would happen if you took that creation and ran it through a language translator?  Then what would happen if you translated that?  Then translated that?  And you did this about 12 times?  What would you come up with?  Well... something very, very strange.  So, for your enjoyment, here is what happens:

Take them, she Turned to him. New to face and deal of a market. An in - 
depth, comprehensive, and lead us ... But he has no courage to keep his 
opinion, the importance of the principal. To allow one hand, and Roald his 
job on the other hand, Tony new great foil for her body against him. 
Leaves, they Drew the soft palate, Paul Wall, he has a curve, shoulders 
Relaxed air to Undermine the soft and Flexible at the end of the tree, and 
instruments, and their Subordinates, know that the skin is warm and move 
directly to the position of love, and healing of skin tissue based on 
Things and said with enthusiasm, seeing the media to put his finger over 
five years, if any. Almost ready to take immediate steps and Killed in bed, 
for Breaking with him and Slowly Completed five years, grow and develop 
Slowly and can Easily Lorena, because it Raises the rear and the depth of 
water, and then add the slide and dance through the body known. Last button 
for the pleasure of another woman. Mother of the Existing System, but the 
language is Transferred to a hot body, and Suggested that "Ending rate, the 
timing of a loss of deep and powerful. White, dizziness, joy, more joy in 
other parts of the definition of skin, Muscles, bones, Tendons, nervous and 
anger Tightening of monetary policy prodused. and feeling, bank, and all 
that. some rare and fragile, but enough to protect her heart, according to 
him, even for large - scale new Heights. Their Bodies and in parallel, and 
the urgent need for the trip, but they have nothing to Dowling Rushed 
system, but not all the little Touches, Handles all vulnerable. slow, 
difficult, and given him, feeling his body and Disposed of Acceptance and 
love I feel is more difficult than ever seemed to him attractive, he is 
gone, but firm, hero in September in September, as always with the time, 
after all the years to keep the operations of second nature. Gradually, the 
Middle region. the physical growth and He is responsible for meeting with 
him and ask him to hold. You Fingers are Foreign behind the tension in the 
index. Hey - Increasing the speed of his release, he was a spy cat in the 
dark over his face, his ice Closed, Lips and chin Slowly and divorce, and 
Concentration of each series of the hero. enter Deeper and Stronger, and 
chalk, Covering her body is welcome's all. lift your shoulders down, is 
still enough to appreciate it as an Institution, and all the Waves 
Luxurious and clean skin in the direction of the Waves, Immersed in a 
robbery, and writing, and make - up, and not, he said, "and Driven Slowly 
step by step, step, an equal Implementation, and Excited, his cloth , he 
thought the problems of the eyes, Commander of Flicker Published in second 
place. Narrow Breeding filled her Ears, voice, sweet breath of look for 
more Dick. And Seemed to want to mention. Will not tilt, famous, Rectal, is 
among the most foot print, and then Pushed deep Complexity, and 
chalk, "Todd, but ice the hero him. Finalli, I saw his face, he Looked in 
his ice relaxing under the skin . Alicea Kunsill of Minister of the face 
and lips the arrow, and the entire world knows the Teachers, and what is 
life the side of happiness, but, as always, to ensure for previously, no 
hope, and keep that under control, expect to see more no doubt, but 
still ... come to me and Trade to breathe just as. when it dark ice wide 
open - let him, he says, is Unprecedented. tvitter is beginning to break 
the short term, he was elevated You deal and face, showing his face, he did 
not know how, but he well what he wanted. he did not know content. report 
and said: He Raised a sigh of relief by Increasing its products, said the 
Strengthening of the body and Replaced. equal in their look. He said the 
scale of the free, He Opened his head, to give a hand to help. God has his 
SAGE to his face, he came to his Dissatisfaction with his finger before you 
close it, Laughing in house, and then Folded his SAGE, he is sweets, and 
Individuals. alternate put around my waist.'s difficult to see the group of 
Stones. a list of the most Caressing her skin, because it is surprising 
that total and a solid and deep. charm to him, and offers weight of her 
hips to make fast, in case of emergency, or Forced the pace today, 
Wheezing, Shortness of breath, and said that he was black and his face 
before, meet the jolly green . Firefighters could fall under the bride, 
Mergers and safety of hell, and Bowed his head, by the International 
Criminal Police Organization, Stronger, post office and better, and said 
that the word is token on his lips, then they are the mouth, as fire, the 
Space and the inkvisityon for. Drowning. Delete. Assembly. hovever, as 
Applied. admissyon is free Tony heat, such as control, for example, the 
sender of any dirt from God. life just the second stage, he is Surrounded 
with his heart of fire is a woman Nearby. her hand was lying: He Likes His 
Rigidity slobber him a strong body, Aggressive, Spalding, on him, and if 
the nick fire, happy nature of Staffing. If they wish, and Day-Ping, freeze 
and said that Mediation is better, not change, and not just your body from 
him, but do not use more experience, and size, then serve machine, although 
they are all Breathless, stream of Floating Bodies, if it is, the air fan,
even if it is used outside or Community, please Laurie Nipples. South Korea
as a whole.

Tomorrow, just for fun, I'll post the original passage, and we can see just how badly it's been mangled.  Stay tuned.

Don't have much to say... hoping for sex...

I was going to blog, but I'd rather have sex -- so I'll talk to you all tomorrow!

Tossing Salad and other phrases...

Believe it or not, Uncle Walter had a question about this.  He wanted to know what the phrase "tossing salad" or "toss my salad" means.  Oh, is he in for a big surprise, eh?  Babe, I hope you know what you're getting into.

"Tossing Salad"

To put it bluntly, this means to lick someone's asshole, or to tongue someone's asshole, specifically a dirty one. In order to understand the phrase, you really have to understand digestion.  Salad is composed of fibrous vegetables, many of which do not digest fully (ever seen corn in your crap?).  Lettuce, tomatoes, carrots, cucumbers, etc., all veggies found in salad, leave large and obvious pieces in your feces because only some of it digests.  Do you see where I'm going with this?  Yeah, not such an enticing picture is it?  In summary, to toss a salad is to lick a dirty asshole (since there could be residual food pieces)...  The question now is how long will it be before you'll be able to eat salad again?  Or rather, will you EVER want to eat a salad again?

"Get your rocks off"

This has several meanings, actually. To "rock" is to move back and forth.  "Rock" can also mean money, which is paid for sex.  And finally it can also mean "a varicolored stick candy".  To "Get off" can mean to fire a round of ammunition, or to "obtain a release".  So while this is probably the most obvious of the phrases I've done, it doesn't mean it *quite* the way you'd expect.  Most prominently, it means to gain a release by paying for it (ie hiring a hooker to get laid), but you can also translate it to getting your "stick" to fire off a round, or to move back and forth until you get a release.  Either way you choose, don't say it unless you want someone to know what you mean.  It's nice, however, to know what it REALLY means.

"Grease the Wheel"

This phrase goes back to horse-and-buggy times.  Often a wheel would squeak or make other noise while driving.  When that happened, it would get greased.  In reality the wheels should have been getting grease all along, but people didn't think about it unless the wheel started making noise. In a sexual sense this references using a box-spring mattress.  As anyone who's ever had sex on one knows, the mattresses tend to squeak with movement, much like the squeaking of the wheel of a cart.  The "grease" is an obvious euphemism for cum, and thus you "grease" the squeaking "wheel".  The wheel merely being the sexual partner, not specifically a woman.  Because of its use in common vernacular, you can use this phrase in very mixed company without most people ever guessing what exactly you're referring to.

"Lay Some Pipe"

You look it up, and all you'll get is the sexual meaning (to have intercourse).  But this is actually a very innocuous saying that has been commandeered for sexual use.  There ARE pipe-layers, and it's a real, non-sexual, job.  But if you look at the *description* of a pipe-layer?  Double entendres abound.  First you "position the pipe," then you "seal the joint," then you connect it to a "main tube"...  Nah, can't find anything sexual there!  Can you imagine the poor person who does this for a living?  Whose everyday life is made to feel sexual and dirty?  Poor pipe-layers!

What other sexual phrases would you like to know more about?

When a man is a woman he can do no wrong...

When I was pregnant with my daughter, I had an irrational fear.  A deep and frightening worry that my little girl would be born with something called "Ambiguous Genitalia." There was nothing or no one who could convince me that she would be born healthy and "normal" until her actual birth and I could see for myself that she was healthy, whole and completely female. 

But 1 out of every 15,000 live births results in an intersexed child, also known as a "pseudo hermaphrodite" and while I was one of the lucky ones, not everyone is.  Those children are born with parts that don't automatically indicate whether they're a boy or a girl.  They either have a very large clitoris, or a very small penis (photos after jump)