If You Disagree With Me, You're WRONG

You can pick a lover, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your lover's... you get the idea...

What really did happen to the sexual revolution?  Did AIDS destroy it?  Because, dear readers, believe it or not, there was at one point a whole... society of people that recognized that SEX IS NOT A BAD THING.  And, more than that, SEX CAN BE FUN.  And even MORE than that *sex need not be limited to one relationship consisting of 2 people of the opposite sex.*  Knowing that, many people were able to have fulfilling sex lives with a single person of their choce, or many, many people of their choice -- sometimes at the same time -- or any number in between.

The biggest problem is my younger eyes, since I not only missed the revolution but I missed the war.  I can only see the effects that the ending had on the rest of us. And the ending is a bit of a "one step forward, two steps back" kind of thing.  We, as a society, made leaps and bounds, but then we turned our backs on what we found.  The players got older and success required them to play by certain rules. Personally, I've never been good at following rules.

Wesley L. Ford has written a book for a personal sexual revolution for women, Picking a Lover.  I haven't read it yet, but feel a compulsive need to talk about it.  See, Mr. Ford posted a question related to his book on an Amazon.com forum and received an obnoxious "welcome" by some people who consider themselves the forum police.  Oh, and my stalker!  So between the two of them, this poor guy was lambasted.  Once for having an opinion that frightens a lot of people, and again for associating with me (by responding to my comments on his post).

Since we can't discuss the book over there without risking the wrath of the mighty "report abuse" button, we're continuing the discussion in our forum.  If you'd like to hear more on my thoughts about sex within or outside of the confines of marriage, and my opinions on the benefits of lovers, please leave a comment -- or better yet, join our forum and discuss it with the author himself!

The Forum is Working!

Sorry for the problems!  The forum should be fixed now.  Go to http://www.rottenromance.com/forum! 

Wesley, if you want to start a discussion, you can do it here, too.

Just leave it in the comments here, and we can bring it over to the forum later.  It's up to you.  After we chat, I'll post some info on your book.  :D

Edited to say:  We need to chat so that you can give me the info to post.  Since you deleted the Amazon post I don't have the web address anymore.

Just keep in mind, I have a decent readership, so don't let the low forum #s fool you -- that's changing.  :)

The lips are connected to the clit, and the fingers are connected to the moneymaker...

So, if you can believe this...  Uncle Walter picked up a couple of old Penthouse magazines the other day.  I know!  I couldn't believe it either!  Anyway, I was thumbing through one from January 2007.  I won't give you the old BS about only reading it for the articles.  I mean, I DO read the articles, but the pictures are still nice.  In this particular issue, like others, the articles are all sex themed.

The first article is titled "Five Ways to Supersize Your Sex Drive," which primarily involves food.  There is advice such as to get sweaty during sex so that your skin will be more receptive to sensation.  This is followed up with the brilliant realization "don't overdo it -- if you get too hot, you'll feel burned out instead of turned on."  Uhhhhh.... duh.

This article is on the left page.  The right page has "Top 10 First Date Conversation Killers."  Like don't talk about death.  Again, shockingly obvious!  Really, don't bum out your first date?  Then again, you're not supposed to talk about your family or the weather, either.  Or Religion.  Or Politics.  Or your childhood.  Or your health history.  Or Money.  Or Sex.  So... um... what ARE you supposed to talk about?  Quite frankly, I disagree with every single one of these things.  These are some pretty heavy deal breakers (well, except for the weather, unless you find the temperature offensive).  I think you SHOULD talk about these things, or at least touch on the topics, so that you can find out if you're compatible at all.  But I tend to be a bit more realistic than most.  At least theoretically.

The next article of note is about that mythical event (for others -- Uncle Walter is a pro!): Foreplay. and the fabled Manly "Moan Zone."  Yes, this is as absurd as it sounds.  Especially with the androgynous diagrams that Penthouse includes.  You should also... get this... listen carefully because it's a big secret... HUG!  GET OUT OF HERE!  Really?  Nah!  Really?!  And some men like nipple stimulation.  But some men don't.  But you won't know which until you try.  But he might not like it.  You just can't tell.  They even delve into the (shhhh!) naughty, by indicating that some light slapping may be in order.  What a daring magazine Penthouse is!

And finally, there is "Surprisingly Sexy."  Where we discover "unusual" things that are erotic.  Like the missionary position.  Or fingers.  Or...  ding ding, we have a weiner!  "Teeny Weenies," those poor, misunderstood miniscule manroots.  Do you know why men with tiny penises are good?  Because they try harder at things like oral sex.  Hmmmm...  This is some pretty hard-hitting discoveries there, dear Penthouse.  I can't imagine the research that must have gone into this. 

Overall I rate the educational value of this magazine at a D-.  It's not clever.  There's nothing new to be told.  And the illustrations are poor.  If you need some real information, let me know and I'll give you some.  I don't need to sugar coat sex to make it more palatable.

I really don't give a crappity smack if I hurt your feelings...

You know, hard as it may be to believe, I get really tired of trying not to offend people.  I hate feeling as if I have to placate people just because they're uncomfortable with themselves and their decisions.  What, you may ask, am I talking about?

Well, let's say... for just a random example... I post something extolling the virtues of breastfeeding.  Obviously there's nothing about that to argue with:  breastfeeding is better for a baby.  Formula is a far distant second.  Keeping that in mind, if you choose not to breastfeed, you should be comfortable with your decision.  Or, if for some reason, you feel that you were *unable* to breastfeed, then you also need to be comfortable with that.  I mean, if *I* had been unable to breastfeed, I would at least rest easy knowing that I'd tried my damnedest to do so -- as should anyone else who's done their best (and yes, I DO know some people who've been unable to nurse).  I might feel sad, but I sure as hell wouldn't feel defensive.  What's there to defend against if you gave something your all?

But what if, say, you DIDN'T give it your all?  What if, despite knowing how much better breastmilk is, you tried but in a half-hearted attempt?  Or didn't try at all for purely selfish reasons?  Well, then you WOULD feel pretty defensive eh?

You know what?  THAT AIN'T MY PROBLEM.

What IS my problem is when said people feel the need to clutter up my space with their political correctness bullshit.  NO, I *don't* have to also add that NOT breastfeeding is okay, too.  No I DON'T have to say that it's okay to make whatever choice you're comfortable with.  No I DON'T have to suck up to you just to make you feel better about your own decisions.  If you're that insecure about it, then deal with it on your own.  I'm not your fucking therapist.

This isn't actually a rant about breastfeeding.  This is about the stupid need some people feel to qualify their opinions.  Fuck political correctness.  Either feel good about the choices you make, or shut the fuck up when I think you're wrong.

And just for the hell of it, here is the image that appeared when I did a search for "politically incorrect" images:

Why I really don't like People of Walmart...

Seriously, I know it's the "hot" blog right now, and it started out funny.  But now it's just a lot of complaints about things like the color and fabrics of the outfits people wear.  I mean, who cares 
if a little old man in Texas wants to wear a shirt with Teddy Bears on it? 
It's not like it's a particularly ugly, revealing, age-inappropriate, or ill-fitting garment.  It just has a pattern that isn't commonly worn. When a 300 lb. woman is wearing a Dallas Cowboys cheerleading outfit?  That's just bad.  Wearing a bad hat on halloween?  *yawn*

I hope the blog either gets better or just fizzles out, because I'm of the opinion that it's more than fine to make fun of someone, but at least do it for the right reasons.  There's so much fucked up stuff at Walmart, so you shouldn't have to try so damned hard.

You were warned...

A webcomic of romance, sarcasm, math, and language was pointed out to me today.  And I am pleased.  Because sometimes something just resonates with you, something that describes you, your life or your family.  This comic did just that.

When I meet people I feel like I should warn them.  They either get very confused or very annoyed, sometimes both.  I don't *try* to be annoying and/or strange.  I can't help it.  But it's inevitable and impossible to avoid.  I think preparation may just help people not have such a strong visceral reaction.

On another note, this one resonated with me, too:

When you can't call out a pest...

By now I'm sure it's obvious that I tend to be rather blunt.  I don't mind confronting people or saying what I think/feel.  So what happens when I HAVE to show tact?  Well, generally speaking, I go a bit crazy.  I still WANT to express my frustration, usually to the offender's face.  But something (and trust me, it has to be a damned good reason) sometimes gets in the way.

So there I am, wanting desperately to tell someone to go fuck themselves, the internet equivalent of "get off my lawn", and instead I have to smile and nod politely.  Usually because if I confront them on their annoying, stupid behavior, it will negatively effect dear old Uncle Walter.  
So I bite my tongue and it HURTS.  How to cope with someone who drives you bat-shit insane when you can't actually TELL them that they're driving you bat-shit insane?  So far I'm just a little condescending and tongue-in-cheek when dealing with them.  But eventually I think I'm going to burst.  And when that happens, it's never really pretty.  Exploding patience can be amusing, but no, it's not pretty.

*sigh*  Who'da thunk that ME, of all people, would need to hold my tongue?  As an actress, I'm not good enough to fake diplomacy for much longer.

You've never tried a pad like this. GUARANTEED.

Such is the claim of Always's latest product, Infinity.  For those of you who don't know, Always is the brand name for a Proctor & Gamble feminine product.  Specifically what is known as a "maxi pad."  This is used, by women, when their ovarian dams burst.  Something has to catch the blood when you're hemorrhaging like a horse.  Some women use tampons, which are like little cotton sticks that you stick up your twat.  But I find them very uncomfortable.  I can feel them when I use them, and the one thing I don't want to constantly be aware of is my crotch.

Prior to the 1980s, women wore what is known as a sanitary belt.  This was like a garter belt with a connector in the frond and the back, to which women would attach a piece of cloth to soak up the flow.  This is why menstruation is often referred to as being "on the rag."  Thankfully I wasn't around for things like that.  I like the stick on option, and I love that Always has "wings" -- which are wrap around flaps to hold the blood better.

So when Always came out with this new style, I was kind of excited.  They're much thinnerer than even the regular ultra things, yet they're supposed to have awesome flow control.  Last night I tried them.  There are two things to keep in mind with me.  First, I never have more or less than a "regular" flow, so I don't need super or light or anything else but "regular" strength.  Second, I don't have problems with leakage at night, so even when sleeping, I have never needed big honking pads.  Which is nice!  I'm a lucky woman.

My first impression was that they were VERY comfortable.  It reminded me of the episode of the Simpsons where Marge broke her leg.  It started out with the family skiing, and Homer runs into Ned Flanders on the slopes.  Ned is wearing a skin-tight ski suit and shakes his butt saying "Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all!"  So the comfort level was AWESOME. My second impression was that it had good coverage.  It's a long pad that has a wider back end, which should offer better protection.  All good news!

In to bed I go, and after several hours I finally fall asleep.  I wake up feeling clean, don't see any leakage, there's none on the bed.  We're all good.

Until I stand up.  Then the flood gates open.  Occasionally this has happened before.  If I spend the night on my back, the flow tends to get stuck up in there and just hang out.  With the thin maxis, the pad manages to catch it before it goes anywhere else.  The Infinity, however, had nearly no absorption power.  Leakage everywhere.  Down my legs, onto my undies, onto my pajama bottoms.  All covered.  When I went to clean up, the flow did not seem to be intense enough for that kind of explosive reaction.

I've heard from a friend that the Super absorption level is better, so I will probably give that a try.  But given that I can get 90 pad packs of the Thin Regular from Costco, I suspect that the Infinity will NOT be worth the extra money for me.

Edited to add an update:

Wore them today, and still awful luck.  The first one worked well enough, but the second one leaked again.  I'm TOTALLY going to make claim on that guarantee and get my money back.  Don't waste yours on these pads.  They're not worth the extra money.

This is a test...

Ignore it.